Homo Anatinus

it’s such a bummer to meet shitty Americans abroad who confirm every negative European stereotype of Americans. I try not to be pretentious about it, because I do understand why they are the way they are, and I am also totally fully unbelievably American in my attitude and way of life. but really, telling me an anecdote about getting a free CD at a Coldplay concert in your stupid bumblefuck Midwestern accent and then getting wasted and booty grinding on a eurotrashalicious (in the worst way) Austrian is not a way to make friends here. 

one of the weirder times of the year in the German speaking world (though, to be fair, it’s always a little bit weird in these parts) is the mid-spring asparagus season, known as Spargelzeit (asparagus time). Germans and Austrians lose their shit over this phallic green and white vegetable, and the entire month of May is dedicated to eating asparagus in all of its forms. wrapped in prosciutto with hollandaise sauce, in salads, in soups, grilled, boiled, whatever goes as long as you eat it EVERY DAY ALL DAY. they just sit in gardens absorbing the sun after months of winter and chomping down asparagus like its their job. then, as soon as the Spargelzeit came, it disappears, and there is no asparagus to be found anywhere until the following May. 

May is such an exciting month because Arrested Development, Daft Punk, and my future career will all be released/decided. If Brussels rejects me, at least I can get drunk and watch my spirit animal, Lucille Bluth. 

since I got out of bed this morning, I’ve had a strange hybrid of a new James Blake song (best album ever) with the Desperate Housewives theme playing on loop. 

just opened my computer in a meeting of the Forum for Security Cooperation, in the middle of a speech by some high ranking U.S. State Department Official, and Ru Paul’s Drag Race was playing. and wouldn’t stop, and the volume was up. shame. it was in the middle of Roxxy Andrews saying something stupid and bitchy.

at least it wasn’t porn.